If there is anything sicker than this, let me know! 

Earwig Pizza Anyone?

Alright I have to make another post about those wretched little f@$#ers again! Some people might think i'm a little obsessed, maybe a little crazy but my earwig experience just keeps gettin worse! lol BUT now I have 2 witnesses to back me up (so I don't seem so crazy lol). Ok here goes...Winter and I came to a conclusion that I must have earwigs living inside me...either that or they are attracted to me beyond repair. Last night I helped Wint and Rick move into their new "South Hoodie"pad. After we got everything put into place we took a break and laxed on the couches. Wint and Rick sat on the loveseat and I was sitting in a yoga position on the big comfy couch. We were sitting and just chatting when I felt that un-Godly pinch yet again! I flinged something off my leg and screamed! I turned on the light and to my horror once again...another Jesus earwig! Rick and Wint just laughed cause I "wigged out" big time! I even showed them on my foot where the bastard got me. My heart was pounding so fast and hard Winter could feel it by touching my chest. Well needless to say we shook the shit outta the cushions on the couch, I slept with a blanket draped over it and left the light on so I could do spot checks around the room. Am I paranoid? If I am I must have earwigophobia cause I absolutely hate them sooooo much! Yet they still insist to crawl on me (ughhhh) and take a little piece of flesh as a souvenir. Why? Are they attracted to me? No other bugs are! I am like a human insect repellant! Ask anyone! We could be camping and everyone is getting bit by flyies, musquitos whatever and I don't even have them landing on me for God's sake. So as I was saying Wint and I came to the final conclusion that they must be living in me! lol I guess I should tell ya'll how they would have got inside my body. Well a few months ago we ordered pizza. We ate it for supper and had some left-overs so I just left it in the box and put the box in the oven cause I knew we would want a late nite pizza snack. And we did. I took a piece and was chowing down on it while I looked into the pizza box that still had a piece or 2 left in it. To my freaking horror a God damned earwig came crawling out from under a slice and onto the box scurrying away. Well Jesus. I nearly took a heart attack. I don't know how the fucker even got into the oven and into the pizza box but that's irrelevant. The fact of the matter is that I just ate pizza that might have potentially came in contact with a crawling earwig. Now that's just sick. I know I must have a phobia of them and it started that day because I started to think crazy thoughts like "what if that earwig pooped on my pizza? what if it layed eggs on it and I ate the pizza and now will have earwig babies developing inside me?" Yes I actually thought those things. I might have blacked out I panicked that much. Anyone who knows me knows I DO NOT have a gag reflex (go ahead pervs I know what you are all thinking! lol) But it's true. I tried SOOOO hard to make myself throw up but had no luck! I stuck my fingers down my throat so far down I probably touched my stomache, lol. I tried sticking my toothbrush...Nope didn't work, I tried letting Blue stick her fingers down my throat....Nope didnt work. I even tried drinking sick ass raw eggs (I always thought that would make ppl barf their brains out) but NOPE! I just gagged and nothing. I tried mixing milk with the eggs and my Lord who wouldn't barf after drinking that? Well NOT ME! The rest of the day all I could think of was me being pregnant with earwig babies and there was no father around to support them cause he was now a squished pancake floating out in Sydney harbour. Great. Ok Ok, the story is true and I know it's 100% impossible for anything to survive in the human stomache with all the gastric acids, but the thoughts of it actually did run through my mind. lol I guess some of you are sitting there thinking...."This girl is a wing nut" or "What a baby!" Call me what you like i'm still not going to enjoy sharing this planet with an earwig. Well that's my story and i'm sticking to it! lol Hope you all atleast got a laugh out of it! :)

FLIPPIN EARWIGS!!!!!!!

Ok just a little post to tell everyone in this sick world infested with them little fuckers we call earwigs. THE BASTARDS DO BITE!!!!!!! I was just sitting here on my computer, I am wearing shorts and I felt a bite on my leg...I flicked my leg and there goes a god damn earwig running for his life on the floor...well I ended it quick! I ran out and put Afterbite on it cause God knows what diseases those sickos have and it started to bleed!!! I always read that they could pinch but it was rare....WELL THEY CAN AND THEY WILL!!!! I'm pissed and disgusted! Ughhhhh

Cheers!!! 

Ahhh Champagne! 

I'm looking at the chandelier but what is Robbie doing?? lmfao 

Fine Champagne and Ball Room Dancing! lmfao

I feel the need to write about Saturday's events cause it was insanely fun and really funny! lol Well my day started out bright and early because I thought I would be driving up to Port Hawkesbury in the morning but couldn't leave until 1pm. Me, mom and Kim leave for the Hawk and I am flying cause I know I have NO time to spare if I wanna get back and have people over. I bought a damn futon and some curtains and jammed the whole thing into the van (thank God I had a van, lol) I stopped by Jim Guy's house for some paint and stuff and then fly home yet again. On my way I call Janny Pooh and she sounds upset. She says she doesn't want to go out cause she had a shitty day and what not, I told her she is coming out even if I have to drag her, it's her bday and we are gonna have a blast! I get home at around 8ish and Kim grabs a shower. I have some beer and then I get a shower and get ready. Jan arrives and she is in a great mood! Yay! lol Then Matt, Winter and Rick show up as well. We play some cards, drink, chat and get all dolled up. Meanwhile my phone rings and it's the loons in South Bar! lol They want us to come down Johnny's new pad but we said for them to come down and drink here...Robbie says "We will be down in 20 minutes!" lol Yeah sure! So we get drunk and my dear mother drives us drunks to Hermans. Inside we drank, danced, mingled and had a friggin BLAST! Lil Kim was hammered! hahahaha Oh God, we are BAAAD influences! We ran into our ever so gracious FLAMES and laugh our asses off. Stevie is nuts I tell ya! lol Literally! bahahaha We lost Winter so me, Jan, Kim, Robbie and Johnny go outside to look for them but they are gone. I use Johnny's cell and give her a dingle. She has her car and comes and picks us up, but wait, Johnny says he's hungry and wants to get a hot dog, so does Jan, so off they go and we wait in Neo. As we wait we see some dude come up and kock on Rick's side window, he rolls it down and says his friend wants to talk with him. We get a bad feeling about this so me and Wint get outta the car. We still don't know what buddy was going on about but all I remember is me saying "Come on asshole, I will beat you and your skanky girlfriend!" lmfao Winter says some things to him and all he could do was back off and his little skank of a gf keeps saying "Come on, let's go! Just leave" I also remember Brent saying "Holy shit man, they are crazy! I know them girls, they are nuts" hahahaha Meanwhile Jan and Johnny are oblivious to what is going on so Jan asks him "Johnny what the hell is going on?" his response "I don't know but I think i'm beating somebody up!" BAHAHAHAHA LOL So we leave the bullcrap at the hotdog stand and head on our merry way. Kim goes home and I grab 6 beer, a bag of Doritos and a Gianormous bottle of champagne. Wint drops us loons of at Johnny's and her and Rick head home. Well it's now like almost 5am and we are NOT done drinking...oh no! Me and Jan polish the whole bottle of Spumante ourselves and are thirsty for more! lol We drank all the six beer and eat some chips along with blueberry pie and McCaine deep and deloush cake??? lol Ah sick! We sit out in the rain and chat, Robbie pukes and looks for his keys, we danced in the living room and took some hot pics that I will post for sure! lol We don't go to sleep, well Johnny tries to go to bed but for some reason wakes up every 5 minutes and comes out to shoot the shit! lol It's now 11:30am the next day and we are STARVED!!! Johnny is outside gabbing away with his friend, his neighbour is driving around on his ride-on lawn mower, beer in hand! lol So dear Johnny takes us to Scotch Ronnies and off to Timmy's to eat it. Thank God my windows are tinted! What you can't eat without tinted windows? BAHAHAHAH Men just don't understand! Mikey shows up and we chat for a bit then off for home. I must add that I am running on ZERO sleep but some how manage to stay away till about 3am that Sunday night. Crazy we are but all in good fun! Can't wait to do it again! Signing off... Lowie DuShwawlie

Hmm...

So who is up for some Swimmy Jift tonite at Spermans? Blue is now 19 so we gotta take her out ASAP!!!!!!!!!! Let me know...

Ok, here goes!! Get those reading glasses on!! lmfao

Alrighty... it's already Friday morning and man am I ever wishing we had this weather last friggin weekend!!!! Ahh well, what can ya do when ya live in Nova Scotia, we always have shitty weather! Anyways, I haven't been to kickboxing all week cause I've been doing nothing but shopping...I now have everything for my new room! Thank God! I'll have to try and go Sunday or something. Anyways, I think I'll tell ya'll about our wicked camping trip to Cheticamp! lmfao So Friday morning arrives bright and early! lol Jan calls me and tells me she is already fighting with her parents (at 6am!!!) cause they said she's taking tooo much stuff and there's no room! lol I guess I gotta leave some stuff behind too then! (including my air matress and patch kit, which I later realize I needed!!) lol They come and I really don't know how we piled all our shit in there...poor Nick we couldn't even see him we had that much stuff! lol So we make it to Louiebouu and again it starts off great, lol. We packed up and got ready to leave and I had to run back into the house to pee when I noticed the house FULL OF SMOKE!!!!!! Jesus Christ Jean-Guy left a frying pan on the burner on high with nothing in it. I fuckin flipped! That is what the 3rd TIME HE ALMOST BURNED THE HOUSE DOWN???? Ahh lovely trip yet to begin! So we arrive in beautiful Cheticamp and set up shop...by now Jean-Guy is on his 5th or so beer and it's only 11am!!! So we blow up our both NEW air matresses and get everything set up. So after a few hours of that and a couple beer later we notice Jan's matresses is a complete pancake! Great! So we take it out try a patch kit someone gave us...the glue was all dried up! So we resort to the ever wonderful DUCT TAPE!!! We found 2 holes and patch em up! We didnt do much Friday but drink some beer and mingle a bit. Later that night I notice that our flippin air matress has a slow leak in it...this is just great! So the neighbours from Louiebouu decide to take the kids to the beach and light off some fireworks. Me and Jan decided to just chill back at camp so Jean-Guy takes the rugrats down for some fun. It was nice for us to just get a break from everyone. So about an hour later they return, Nick is carrying something so i ask him what it is...he says a firework! Jean-Guy kept saying (he was loaded by now) that it was just the cardboard cylinder that the firework was in and it's already used so it's safe to play with. Me on the other hand think otherwise! We had a bonfire blazing and Nick was playing around there with his firework stick and I kept telling him to get rid of it cause there still might be some gun powder in it so he asks if he can put it in the fire...since Jean Guy insisted it was completly blown off already we let him throw it in. Nothing happened so i guess it was safe. So the crew of us were sitting on the picnic table which was right next to the fire and about 20 minutes pass by and all of a sudden "BANG!!!!!!!!!" and this huge flying ball of fire flies up into the air and lands on the tarp that we had over the 2 tents, lights the fuckin tarp on fire and burns a huge hole in it. We all flee for our lives and the neighbours heard the bang and came running. Shawn, a friend of ours grabs a stick and knocks the fireball off the tarp and onto the ground and stomps it out. Now tell me how happy I was at this point! Tell me! I God damn loose my mind and Jean-Guy knew I was pissed and he was in the wrong! Now I can sit back and laugh but at the time someone could have seriously gotten hurt or if there was no tarp it would have burnt right through our tent and onto all of our clothes and luggage. Thank God it didn't but hopefully Jean-Guy learned his damn lesson! So that was the excitement for Canada Day, our own personal firework display right at camp. lol Saturday rolls around and it's raining..good thing we got that TARP!!!! LOL I awake to a half pancake air matress, just like the way it was in Inverness Winter, my ass was on the floor but my legs and arms were straight up in the air! Ahh how comfy! Now I am even more pissed cause the price of that air matress is gone up to 69 dollars plus tax and it's brand new but we have no receipt. Hopefully Mandy will take it back. So it's raining, we had shitty sleeps, we are hungry and Joel is driving us completely up the wall so what do women do in that situation? They go shopping!!! lol Me and Jan say fuck it and we head off to the big city of Cheticamp! lol Our first mission is to find air matresses! Well Jesus, we went to the Bargain Shop...they just sold the last one that morning, We head to Co-oP...they have one that costs 50 bucks for a twin! FUCK THAT! So we head off to Ace Hardware...they had one that had diamond air pockets in it, not even a REAL air matress...so we pick it up and Jesus Christ, it's 69 dollars plus tax and it's a twin! We figure maybe Frenchys? We still have nothing to sleep on so I desperatly ask the woman working at Frenchy's where the hell we can get an air matress. We told her we tried everywhere and she advised us to try the Church!! lol Isn't that for poor people?? Fuck it we don't care so we head to the church and a truck load of hot guys catch us trying to bust into the church but it was locked...how embarrased were we?? lol It's Saturday morning, the church is empty and here are 2 girls trying desperatly to get it...what were they thinkin?? lol So I say to Janet..."Hey I remember seeing those blow up lounger thingys for the water at the Bargain Shop...let's go see how big they are" Jan's like "What do we have to loose!" So we head back to the store and we pull out the water floaties..they cost 3 dollars and are made of plastic..there is enough room for one person to sleep on their side but it's really better than what we have now. So we head to the cash and the woman remembering us says "Hey did ya's find an air matress" and we were like "YEP, RIGHT FRIGGIN HERE" she was like "Oh my god, you poor things...that's a sin!" Then she says to her co-worker.."hey remember that air matress we had with the hole in it, do we still have that?" and her friend says "I dunno, if we do we could sell it to ya for 5 bucks, it does have a hole but it comes with a patch kit" we were like "SWEET A USED HOLEY AIR MATRESS, WE'LL TAKE IT!" lmfao so she goes and looks and comes back with nothing...I guess it's water floaties for us tonite!!! lol So we finish shopping, Jan gets her ever deserved tea from Timmy's (yes they actually have a Tim Horton's up there!! lol) and I get one too. Jean-Guy calls and says he couldn't find Nick for an hour and was panicking and about the call the cops but then he looked in the tent and there was Nick...asleep! Lovely! He also tells me to get some cheese. I go to the liqour store first and I just have to say one thing! WHERE THE HELL ARE PEOPLE SUPPOSED TO PARK AROUND HERE????" Not one single store up there has place for parking! Great! So I then head to the Co-oP and 20 minutes later Jean-Guy has his damn cheese!!!!! At this point Jan is getting a bad head cold...which I also might add can't afford medicine cause the cheapest we seen was 8 dollars for 12 flippin pills...once again..FUCK THAT! Here is just a taste at how much things cost up there! While I was waiting in that ever so delicious line-up at Co-oP a woman ahead of me (we are in the express isle as well!) has 4 items in her cart. A bag of dog food, 2 litres of ice cream, carrots and 2 litres of milk. Now here is the fun part...guess how much it cost? Would you say 15-20 dollars?? I would! WRONG!!!! $56.27 cents!!! Yep! I hope that damn dog is worth it cause he would be eating hot dogs! lmfao So that ends our wicked shopping trip to the big city and we head back to camp. We eat and get a shower and decide to go mini-putting! Yay! I ended up killing everyone, esp with 3 holes in one! WOO HOO I rock! lol So we head to the office to pass in our putters and Joel decides he wants that new Aquafina flavored water and I said NO, Jean-Guy also said NO and for being a kid who ALWAYS gets what he wants what does he do? Yay another guessing game! lol Does he walk out politely and says ok? Does he ask for something else? NOPE He fuckin flips out, calls Jean-Guy a meanie and slams the office door and takes off like a bat out of hell! How sweet he is! Everyone in the office just glares at us and we walk out trying to act like nothing happened. So anyways as the weekend goes it pretty much involved eating, drinking only couple beer (honestly, we came back with all our booze) playing another round of mini-putt (I lost to Jean-Guy by 2 points, lol) me and Jan sneaking off for some delicious ice cream and telling everyone that we "heard" this ice cream shop sells good ice cream so we can go and get some more! LMFAO we had one nice day and that was Sunday so we head to the beach. BEST BEACH BY FAR...swear to God Wint...even better than Ingonish! It was gorgeous! We swam and ate, got showers and went to bed. It's Monday and we are about to leave. Takes us hours to pack up and poor Jan is so sick at this point she is struggling just to stand up. We load up the trailer and Jean-Guy goes to start the truck...nothing happens. Dead as a fucking nit! Great! He tries to blame me as usual but then realizes it was him and Joel that were using the pump that was plugged into the truck to deflate the wicked water floaties (that I must say stayed inflated the whole time! Goes to show ya don't always just "Get what you pay for") So while Jean-Guy goes to look for booster cables me, Jan and Nick stay back and the most awesome thing happened while we waited. I had put a gianormous chocolate cookie up in a tree earlier that day for the millions of squirrels that ran around. While we stood there waiting one squirrel runs up the tree and we can't see anything. Then Wham, he actually booted the huge cookie out of the tree..the cookie goes flying and lands on the ground. We were astounded!! The little tiny squirrel tried everything in his power to lift the cookie (which was actually bigger than him, it was one of those Sobey's store backed ones, they are huge) and take it with him. OMG it was the best thing I have ever seen, I wish I had a video camera. He stumbled, fell, flipped dragged and pushed that cookie with all his might! He even stopped to take some nibbles off it for a break. He eventually actually pushed the cookie right over to us as if to say "Jesus will somebody break this damn thing up for me!!" lol So I take the cookie and break it in a couple pieces and put in in the tree and the squirrel lived happily ever after. So that's my story folks ( I know it's long but it will give you all something to do while at work! LOL) I can't wait to head to Ingonish for a ripper, sans chitlins!!! Take care and I hope you enjoyed my story...